Hello out there! How are you? I hope life is treating you well and if not that someone is around to give you a bear hug and serve you ice cream or your favourite beverage.
I am a bit insecure.
I am a blogger since 2009. I have blogged on many platforms from Blogger over Tumblr to Wordpress both the free version and the paid.
I have started and stopped several blogs and feel that doing another one is just a waste of time. But I love to blog. I also love to find some kindred spirits who are out to learn to code even though they are no spring chickens anymore. And I feel that "The Bee Writes..." isn't the right place for writing about this coding adventure.
It makes me sad, that I do not believe in my ability to juggle two blogs and make them a place where people can meet, and find something that connects them. Lately, I have realised that the main reason why I don't seem to be able to develop a proper "career", or stick with my blogs is my low self-esteem.
So many years of therapy and I am still stuck in this old story of "You can't", "You won't" & "You are not good enough". I wonder if that will ever change. Do you feel like that sometimes? And what do you do about it?
My current course of action is just to keep going. Maybe Mr Edison was right with finding 10, 000 ways that don't work until it works. That is my hope. It is also my hope that Mindfulness will get me ahead.
Last year I was introduced to "Mindfulness ~ A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World" which helped a lot in calming my worries down. But you know how it is: You incorporate something new into your life and then it just slips away again. That's what happened to me. Or maybe I just need to do an upgrade to my mindfulness practice.
Do you believe in synchronicities? I do. Guess what I found on Tuesday in the library: "Every Breath You Take ~ How to Breathe Your Way to a Mindful Life". Rose Elliot writes in her introduction that she had trouble with Mindfulness until she discovered that the secret is breathing. Since she incorporates mindful breathing exercises many things have changed. I'll review the book in the "The Bee Creates/Writes... Newsletter" in August.
I found breathing exercises always very helpful and hope that this little book will give my self-esteem a boost. Especially as I struggle rather badly with the Free Code Camp projects I tasked myself with. Last week I finished the Tribute Page successfully. Not that my code is brilliant. Or at least I think it isn't. Wasn't courageous enough yet, to ask someone and get some advice.
But I am determined to master the art of asking for advice in the near future :-) . Until then I am working on creating a survey form for this page. Played around for an hour or so this morning but my poor mind got stuck in a thousand questions that needed answering and in the research to find out. Maybe that is the way to get somewhere.
For now, I leave both blogging and coding behind and get myself into the kitchen. The husband and daughter from another mother will need something to eat soon. Cooking is a good activity to let go of all worries. Someone once wrote you can "cook up a solution" this way. I like that idea and assume that my mind goes into creativity mode when I let go of my worries and concentrate on something entirely else. What do you think?
So, that is it for today. Here is a video that shows how a slightly younger woman than I changed her career from teaching to coding with a course. You can find the link to the YouTube location of this video underneath.
video credit: Financial Times via YouTube
Have a wonderful day, no matter what you have set out to learn and don't forget:
happy coding & self-caring
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Just one more thing before you go: The hospital that is treating me for cancer is fundraising for a dedicated breast cancer unit which would allow same-day diagnosis and better premises for patients and staff.
Please, if you can spare a little money hop over to their Just Giving Page and give as little or much as you can. Or share the page on your social media. Your support means a lot to me! Thank you very much.
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